I am reading a book about seven habits of highly effective people ... I discuss the habits with Ra, with my friends and with my work colleagues ... I am not sure how many of them are thinking about practicing those habits but they do nod in appreciation and they do ponder about it ... at least for a moment ...well I guess so ... thought provoking I am sure it is! So here are some food for your thoughts too... my blog readers (let’s assume they do exist ... dil ke khush rakhane ko ... Ghalib ye khayaal ....)
Being Proactive as the title suggest is the very first habit! You must be thinking ... huh what with proactivity? being proactive in meetings? Being proactive in work? Being proactive in relations ... I am proactive everywhere... I will be dumped if I miss being proactive in any one of these areas!
But the fact is ... most of the times we are Reactive and not Proactive, for example …
Being Proactive as the title suggest is the very first habit! You must be thinking ... huh what with proactivity? being proactive in meetings? Being proactive in work? Being proactive in relations ... I am proactive everywhere... I will be dumped if I miss being proactive in any one of these areas!
But the fact is ... most of the times we are Reactive and not Proactive, for example …
Reactive to Kitchen weather (If only that flour were little smart ... if only it knew the magic of becoming Roti by its own ... we wouldn’t have slept hungry)
Reactive to Physical weathers (If only the mausam were good... I wouldn't have got my first ticket)
Reactive to Technical weathers (If only Bill Gates wouldn't have released that damn .Net 3.5 version ... I would have cleared the interview ... I am an expert up to 3.4999999999)
Reactive to Social weathers (If only Ra could have kept quiet ... I wouldn't have fought with him).
Reactive to National weathers (If only the gas were below 4 ... I would have driven to that donation camp instead of wasting my time in Narnia)
Reactive to International weather (If only China would have behaved properly ... I would have made friends with my colleague chaau maau)
So did you get the point ... my examples are stupid I know ... but the fact is ... most of the times we are reactive ... very rarely we want to take the responsibility on our head, because taking responsibility sometimes means agreeing on being irresponsible. If only I could understand that I am the one responsible for whatever I am going through ... If only I could understand that nobody can let me down, unless I wish to ... if only I could realize that nobody can take my self esteem unless I let it go ... life will be a lot easy and I will fly light like a bird on the top of the world guys!!!
Marriage for example of one of my very close friend is unfortunately on the brink of ... end! Husband blames wife... I wouldn’t have done this unless you did that ... wife gives explanation why she did that and they both think that their other half is the root of all the problems. My Guru Mantra says... if only they both could be proactive in loving each other rather than being reactive for what the other one is doing, if only one of them could understand the responsibility of self rather than making noise about other one's responsibility, if only one of them could think about what can be done from his side rather than concentrating on what the other one is doing ... they will be a hit like Lord Shiva and Parvati and their marriage will be saved! Okay who else needs marriage counseling?
But that’s not all ... their is a small twist in the above Gyaan ... lets think we became proactive ... now what next ... next is ... do not be on the extreme side being proactive ... okay I understand that their are a lot of things about which you are significantly concerned and you are trying to resolve these concerns very proactively ... but watch out ... inside that outer circle of concerns their is a inner circle of influence ... that means not all the concerns are completely in your hands... their are a few concerns for which you can do nothing ... they are just inside your circle of concern and not inside your circle of influence ... so if you will put all your energy on the outer circle of concern than your circle of influence will start shrinking ... but if you will put your entire energy on the inner circle of influence than your circle of influence will start expanding ... isn’t it beautiful? If you answered in negative than probably you didn’t understand my point ...read the para again and concentrate properly this time.
So the bottom line is ... Be proactive and take the full responsibility of all the concerns that are inside the circle of your influence ... and this my dear friend is the very first Habit of highly effective people !!!
Reactive to Physical weathers (If only the mausam were good... I wouldn't have got my first ticket)
Reactive to Technical weathers (If only Bill Gates wouldn't have released that damn .Net 3.5 version ... I would have cleared the interview ... I am an expert up to 3.4999999999)
Reactive to Social weathers (If only Ra could have kept quiet ... I wouldn't have fought with him).
Reactive to National weathers (If only the gas were below 4 ... I would have driven to that donation camp instead of wasting my time in Narnia)
Reactive to International weather (If only China would have behaved properly ... I would have made friends with my colleague chaau maau)
So did you get the point ... my examples are stupid I know ... but the fact is ... most of the times we are reactive ... very rarely we want to take the responsibility on our head, because taking responsibility sometimes means agreeing on being irresponsible. If only I could understand that I am the one responsible for whatever I am going through ... If only I could understand that nobody can let me down, unless I wish to ... if only I could realize that nobody can take my self esteem unless I let it go ... life will be a lot easy and I will fly light like a bird on the top of the world guys!!!
Marriage for example of one of my very close friend is unfortunately on the brink of ... end! Husband blames wife... I wouldn’t have done this unless you did that ... wife gives explanation why she did that and they both think that their other half is the root of all the problems. My Guru Mantra says... if only they both could be proactive in loving each other rather than being reactive for what the other one is doing, if only one of them could understand the responsibility of self rather than making noise about other one's responsibility, if only one of them could think about what can be done from his side rather than concentrating on what the other one is doing ... they will be a hit like Lord Shiva and Parvati and their marriage will be saved! Okay who else needs marriage counseling?
But that’s not all ... their is a small twist in the above Gyaan ... lets think we became proactive ... now what next ... next is ... do not be on the extreme side being proactive ... okay I understand that their are a lot of things about which you are significantly concerned and you are trying to resolve these concerns very proactively ... but watch out ... inside that outer circle of concerns their is a inner circle of influence ... that means not all the concerns are completely in your hands... their are a few concerns for which you can do nothing ... they are just inside your circle of concern and not inside your circle of influence ... so if you will put all your energy on the outer circle of concern than your circle of influence will start shrinking ... but if you will put your entire energy on the inner circle of influence than your circle of influence will start expanding ... isn’t it beautiful? If you answered in negative than probably you didn’t understand my point ...read the para again and concentrate properly this time.
So the bottom line is ... Be proactive and take the full responsibility of all the concerns that are inside the circle of your influence ... and this my dear friend is the very first Habit of highly effective people !!!
(Will See Ya Next Week ... With The Second Habit ... Be Online)
1 comment:
Your examples are instant hit, eventhough silly. Thoughts are pretty clear and yes...I took the lesson too. I will be more proactive.
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