Friday, May 10, 2013

Mum's the word ... world !

It came positive on Nov 27th 2008, that day of chilly November morning when I got to know about you inside me, I felt nothing to be honest, just a sense of tranquility and a feel of wholeness to touch this milestone of womanhood. And aha … a sense of delight to be finally able to announce it to the nagging ones back home … the ones from my side doubting his sperms and the ones from his side doubting my ovaries. And … ahem ahem thanks to our clever planning it was our anniversary day as well … and which by the way was a well thought-out plan considering the September school cut off dates too, if you know what I mean.
 

But, I was far from being a Mom
And then started the journey of carrying you inside me, I loved all the attention and pampering that I was getting at home, at work place, over the phone, on the bus rides, shops, streets, everywhere everyone was giving me a little extra something and I shamelessly accepted all possible advantages of this new bulging beautiful me. Oh Ra you won’t understand a bit of this pain … A sincere sympathy to all those who actually go through this but for me it was all … wicked grins!

(ignore ignore … not all fingers are alike and not all pregnancies … I pray for you day and night … just a few more months of wait)

A Mom to be, utterly unaware of the unseen
I got you in my hands on July 16th 2009… the well thought-out plan was finally taking shape by God’s grace, and I felt scared, I was not sure if I was ready to handle you, the delicate, fragile, tiny you. Now that the honeymoon period was officially over, I was all apprehensive about you. From the induction times fairy tale like journey I was about to enter the real concrete world with you in my hands. And I was all shaky and wobbly.
But, I don’t think I became a Maa then
Your first day at home with me, the first night, the first touch, the very first look, everything was so out of the ordinary, like never before. I was getting used to you, I was doing mistakes but I was trying hard to discover that feeling of Mom within me. The feeling of being Maa kept evolving, day by day, week by week, month by month … and year by year … the feelings felt like getting larger. I kept chasing the targets and you kept moving ahead of me, by the time I mastered on your baby food tantrums you graduated to solids, by the time I mastered on the science of shapes, sizes and smells of your lovely potty, you were already diagnosing it yourself … getting curvier myself with the learning curves of being Mom, the Mom within me kept grooming.

The lessons learned were never enough .
the Mom within me was still not complete .
There were plenty of awww moments …And there were equally plenty not-so-hot sides of this job; if you frowned let me remind you about  
  • The most unexpected peekaboos into the privacy of my bathroom (I know I mentioned about it pretty often, but you see I consider it the most serious offence, top in my list again and again)
  • The real big tantrums that you created in ToysRUs!
  • All the lost episodes of my favorite serials when you enjoyed your Dora Diego and swiper no swiping!
  • The moments when you spoke that cruel truth about how bad or fat I looked in that dress.
  • The odd questions that you asked in movie theatre, yeah in English and in whispers that everyone around could hear.
  • The date nights that I never had after you happened…
  • The stupid silences after I bragged about your smartness.
  • All that nose peeking in front of my flashy friends.
  • The funny faces on video chats with my sisters and Maa and Mom when I expected you to spit out Pythagoras theorems or may be the Einstein’s theory of Relativity.
  • The frustrations that I face while teaching you silliest of the silly things and the dreams that I saw about Harvards, Princetons and Yales.

And the list would keep on swelling, from silly cute complains to serious grave concerns, it would keep on intensifying, the one who is rolling the toy cars today would very soon be asking for the real keys of my BMW, life happens too fast but I wish the Mom within me to keep on sprouting.

Mum's the word, still for me, jab bhi kabhi … Papa mujhe still role down the tears off my tear ducts, buckets full, I am still the same selfish shameless kid to my Mom that Aarny is to me, but I wish this daughter mom son relation to keep on passing, generation to generation, no gaps expected here.

I am not sure if it was all these Mothers day ads that inspired me write this article or it’s hormonal … but whatever it is, I am happy that I wrote it, in my favorite font, comic sans.
Let me wish my dearest and greatest (Mom of all the Moms) Maa and Mummy … a very happy Mothers day, only way I can return whatever you gave me (yeah the scolding’s and the punishments included) is to be your Mom after my reincarnation … but I doubt if you two would like to be sisters … hehe .




LOVE !

Friday, February 15, 2013

एक टुकड़ा धुप
कुछ नरम मुलायम सी यादे,
फिर समेट लायी हूँ मै
कुछ hazy vague से इरादे !

फिर वोही देस परदेस का confusion
और कुछेक महीनो का introspection,
दो suitcases में लो आ गया फिर से
Where do I belong का tension !

इधर New York की ऊँची ईमारते
उधर Mummy Papa की ढलती उमर,
कुछ और अभी मै Dollars कमाऊ
की चलो अब बहुत हुआ ... घर लौट जाऊ!

इधर है चमकती पिघलती बर्फ
उधर है खिलती दमकती धुप,
इस देस की हो जाऊ
की चलो अब बहुत हुआ ... घर लौट जाऊ!

इधर भी है इक दुनिया मेरी
कुछ बिखरी कुछ आधी अधूरी,
उधर भी है इक आस मेरी
कुछ धुंधली पड़ती सी सांस मेरी,
इस चमक में छुप जाऊ
की चलो अब बहुत हुआ ... घर लौट जाऊ!


ये इधर उधर का चक्कर
बस अब दिमाग से हटाऊ,
फिर से इक बार अपने code में घुस जाऊ
एक और लो हो गयी poetry...अब शांत हो जाऊ,
जो चल रहा है उसे वैसे ही चलाऊ
(FB के likes देख कर खुश हो जाऊ ...)

की चलो अब बहुत हुआ ... घर लौट जाऊ?