Saturday, May 10, 2014

Jasoda Ben


Jasoda Ben, a Gujrati woman in her early fifties with a loud and hoarse voice, mostly dressed up in trousers and some Indian style tops, under which she will wear her work clothes, so that she won’t lose much time to change for her work. She will mostly enter my home with cell phone in her ears and a black bag on her shoulders.
 
She is the cleaning lady that me and most of my neighborhood friends would call every now and then. She is our handy woman, she will do anything and everything at dollar twelve to dollar twenty per hour charges, depending on how you treat her and your home. If you are not patient enough to tackle her or if you keep your home filthy, she will punish you by charging her maximum, if you are none of the above you will be treated as her premium customer with dollar twelve per hour charges. From babysitting to toilet cleaning, cooking to laundry she will do everything with precision and speed.
 
But all her service also came with some hidden hassles; being a perfectionist in her job she will also enter the cluttered forbidden zones of your home and she will never forget to preach you on how to keep every nook and corner of your own home organized. And if there is anything lying at some corner unused, and anything here absolutely means anything, she will have no shame to ask for it.
 
So, her customers had divided opinions, some disliked her for her interference and demands and other needy ones will bear all her nuisance to get a clean home. I was a special category, who was just interested to write stories on cleaning ladies. I called her alternative Fridays in preparation of weekend get-togethers.
 
She would talk a lot in Gujrati Hindi mix, which was really challenging to understand. She would talk about other girls and their messy homes, about her daughter in law, which was no different than the rest of the daughter in laws; yeah you guessed it right, the worst woman of the world! She would talk about her husband in India who left her, about some court case on her son and a lot of other things. I hardly paid any attention to her talks, as my mantra was to nod on everything that she says without actually listening and to get the damn work done.
 
Last Friday when she knocked the door with her loud talks on her cell phone, I also heard a soft murmur with that, she came in with a little boy that day, a cute chubby cheeks boy, who looked almost four years old. She introduced him as her grandson. I was not happy to see this extra distraction during my paid hours, but I could not be rude to that little boy with innocent eyes.
 
After her usual Kem chho’s and maza ma’s greetings, she settled the kid on my couch and started her work, “in her work clothes”, she never wore very clean clothes but she had clear distinction between her work clothes and her formals. She was a professional.
 
The kid was sitting quietly on my couch, smiling all the time, he looked disciplined and quiet, unlike my son. I explained Jasoda Ben about her To-Dos and went back to my work. While working, I suddenly felt as if my son came back from school, the kid was playing with the same toys that my son plays with and he was making the same sounds. I took a sneak peek to see what the kid was doing, I found him involved in trains and trucks, just like my son. Jasoda Ben kept shouting on him but unlike her usual rough tone, she sounded very mild and loving to this little boy.
 
The little kid was doing everything like my son. Jasoda Ben, while doing her usual chores, when she was done talking about all the girls in the neighborhood and cursing her daughter in law, started telling me about that little kid. That kids parents, Jasoda Ben’s son and daughter in law had divorced and her son was fighting a court case for this kid. Up till here it was a common NRI story, to which I was nodding my head as usual without much interest.
 
Like all of you, even I thought that the divorced husband and wife must be fighting for the custody of this handsome kid. But there was a big twist in this little boy’s fate; being an illiterate, just like her, in legal terms, what I understood from her Hindi Gujrati mix was like this; his parents were fighting for the opposite, none of them wanted to take the child’s custody and the court hearing was almost at its last stage to send the kid to Salvation. In case you are lucky enough to not understand the meaning of Salvation, I have it goggled for you; it is a state division that serves the kids of low-income parents. It’s almost like an orphanage in our terms.
 
The kid by now was napping by himself on my couch, cuddled inside my son's blanket and a sword by his side; he looked like the most adorable thing in this world. I wanted to hug him tight and tell him that I loved him as much as I love my son. But Jasoda Ben’s story was not yet finished, as if what she told was not enough, I had some more to bear that Friday.
 
She told me that she is fighting for the custody now; she cannot let her only grandson go into Salvation. She, the maid who worked at twelve dollars per hour, with hardly some ten to twenty work hours a week, is fighting to prove that she does not fall into low-income category and she is eligible to take the custody of this kid. Whatever things that she picks from our houses, she sells it to her poor neighbors to earn some extra bucks to support herself and her grandson.
 
The definition of Jasoda Ben inside my brain neurons was completely changed in these three hours. The irritating, loud, interfering and demanding Jasoda Ben looked like an angel, an angel with a broom, an angel with a heart and an angel with the spirit to fight for this little boy.
 
She went home with a lot of unused toys, shoes, clothes and apart from extra bucks she earned a lot of respect that Friday.
 
And behind her, she left a clean home and a very heavy heart, that Friday.


Friday, May 10, 2013

Mum's the word ... world !

It came positive on Nov 27th 2008, that day of chilly November morning when I got to know about you inside me, I felt nothing to be honest, just a sense of tranquility and a feel of wholeness to touch this milestone of womanhood. And aha … a sense of delight to be finally able to announce it to the nagging ones back home … the ones from my side doubting his sperms and the ones from his side doubting my ovaries. And … ahem ahem thanks to our clever planning it was our anniversary day as well … and which by the way was a well thought-out plan considering the September school cut off dates too, if you know what I mean.
 

But, I was far from being a Mom
And then started the journey of carrying you inside me, I loved all the attention and pampering that I was getting at home, at work place, over the phone, on the bus rides, shops, streets, everywhere everyone was giving me a little extra something and I shamelessly accepted all possible advantages of this new bulging beautiful me. Oh Ra you won’t understand a bit of this pain … A sincere sympathy to all those who actually go through this but for me it was all … wicked grins!

(ignore ignore … not all fingers are alike and not all pregnancies … I pray for you day and night … just a few more months of wait)

A Mom to be, utterly unaware of the unseen
I got you in my hands on July 16th 2009… the well thought-out plan was finally taking shape by God’s grace, and I felt scared, I was not sure if I was ready to handle you, the delicate, fragile, tiny you. Now that the honeymoon period was officially over, I was all apprehensive about you. From the induction times fairy tale like journey I was about to enter the real concrete world with you in my hands. And I was all shaky and wobbly.
But, I don’t think I became a Maa then
Your first day at home with me, the first night, the first touch, the very first look, everything was so out of the ordinary, like never before. I was getting used to you, I was doing mistakes but I was trying hard to discover that feeling of Mom within me. The feeling of being Maa kept evolving, day by day, week by week, month by month … and year by year … the feelings felt like getting larger. I kept chasing the targets and you kept moving ahead of me, by the time I mastered on your baby food tantrums you graduated to solids, by the time I mastered on the science of shapes, sizes and smells of your lovely potty, you were already diagnosing it yourself … getting curvier myself with the learning curves of being Mom, the Mom within me kept grooming.

The lessons learned were never enough .
the Mom within me was still not complete .
There were plenty of awww moments …And there were equally plenty not-so-hot sides of this job; if you frowned let me remind you about  
  • The most unexpected peekaboos into the privacy of my bathroom (I know I mentioned about it pretty often, but you see I consider it the most serious offence, top in my list again and again)
  • The real big tantrums that you created in ToysRUs!
  • All the lost episodes of my favorite serials when you enjoyed your Dora Diego and swiper no swiping!
  • The moments when you spoke that cruel truth about how bad or fat I looked in that dress.
  • The odd questions that you asked in movie theatre, yeah in English and in whispers that everyone around could hear.
  • The date nights that I never had after you happened…
  • The stupid silences after I bragged about your smartness.
  • All that nose peeking in front of my flashy friends.
  • The funny faces on video chats with my sisters and Maa and Mom when I expected you to spit out Pythagoras theorems or may be the Einstein’s theory of Relativity.
  • The frustrations that I face while teaching you silliest of the silly things and the dreams that I saw about Harvards, Princetons and Yales.

And the list would keep on swelling, from silly cute complains to serious grave concerns, it would keep on intensifying, the one who is rolling the toy cars today would very soon be asking for the real keys of my BMW, life happens too fast but I wish the Mom within me to keep on sprouting.

Mum's the word, still for me, jab bhi kabhi … Papa mujhe still role down the tears off my tear ducts, buckets full, I am still the same selfish shameless kid to my Mom that Aarny is to me, but I wish this daughter mom son relation to keep on passing, generation to generation, no gaps expected here.

I am not sure if it was all these Mothers day ads that inspired me write this article or it’s hormonal … but whatever it is, I am happy that I wrote it, in my favorite font, comic sans.
Let me wish my dearest and greatest (Mom of all the Moms) Maa and Mummy … a very happy Mothers day, only way I can return whatever you gave me (yeah the scolding’s and the punishments included) is to be your Mom after my reincarnation … but I doubt if you two would like to be sisters … hehe .




LOVE !

Friday, February 15, 2013

एक टुकड़ा धुप
कुछ नरम मुलायम सी यादे,
फिर समेट लायी हूँ मै
कुछ hazy vague से इरादे !

फिर वोही देस परदेस का confusion
और कुछेक महीनो का introspection,
दो suitcases में लो आ गया फिर से
Where do I belong का tension !

इधर New York की ऊँची ईमारते
उधर Mummy Papa की ढलती उमर,
कुछ और अभी मै Dollars कमाऊ
की चलो अब बहुत हुआ ... घर लौट जाऊ!

इधर है चमकती पिघलती बर्फ
उधर है खिलती दमकती धुप,
इस देस की हो जाऊ
की चलो अब बहुत हुआ ... घर लौट जाऊ!

इधर भी है इक दुनिया मेरी
कुछ बिखरी कुछ आधी अधूरी,
उधर भी है इक आस मेरी
कुछ धुंधली पड़ती सी सांस मेरी,
इस चमक में छुप जाऊ
की चलो अब बहुत हुआ ... घर लौट जाऊ!


ये इधर उधर का चक्कर
बस अब दिमाग से हटाऊ,
फिर से इक बार अपने code में घुस जाऊ
एक और लो हो गयी poetry...अब शांत हो जाऊ,
जो चल रहा है उसे वैसे ही चलाऊ
(FB के likes देख कर खुश हो जाऊ ...)

की चलो अब बहुत हुआ ... घर लौट जाऊ?

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Tick tick tick ... !

Papa this letter goes to you …
For all the things that you intended to do ,
On this vacation and the last one

And the last to last one … !

The things that could not be done
For the reasons one or another,
Big things like a trip to Puri
And small stuff like visit to Choori!

Things like attending that Terahi together
And things like meeting uncle Dheerender,
You wanted to teach about maintaining NSCs
But who had time for these little things!

I spent all my time in shopping and sleeping
Once again I just did a lot of eating,
Mummy wanted to pack some mirchi ka achaar
But I preferred that dazzling white salwaar!

Mummy I miss that Achaar like never before
I am hating my white salwaar … I swear,
I wish I had some more methi mathri to devour
After this last Gujhiya why my dil mangey some more!

You had luxuries planned for me this chutti
You wanted me to get maalish from Chaiti,
I didn’t had time for this lavishness
My heart now aches more than my backbones!

It was just okay if Aarny missed on one meal
I wouldn’t have this regret for a year to deal,
It was just okay Rajib if we couldn’t finalize on that land
We would have much more time for them in our hand!

Still you never complain about spending less time together
You only regret what you couldn’t do for your daughter,
Oh what an awful old bitiya I am
I have just no words to defend …

Oh what an awful awful bitiya I am,
I blame on myself like I did last year,
I wish I will have enough time before my chances disappear!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Two years back ... !

Ra asked me few days back if I would like to go somewhere on Memorial Day long weekend … and the top few things that came in my mind were like Bronx kids zoo … kids jumpnasium … kid-junction … kid-ntic … kid-A … kid-B… and all up to kid-Z … Are you kidding me … do I have a life or not?

I would shrug my shoulders if someone asked me about schedule two years back … just get up dress up and go to work … no worries about lunch or dinner until the eat outs are open … and no worries about coming back home … just two years back.

I would never miss any movie, I watched movies in theatre, Netflix … I ate slept drank on movies just two years back.

It was just two years back when I would finish at least one book in a month … now my literature is limited to chugga chugga choo choo, yummy yukky … where’s my teddy type books … oh actually that’s not all of it … I read some other literature too … like the one I read last month “Battle hymn of Tiger Moms” … what … what else … I can’t even finish my Time on time what else am I thinking about?

I would take royal bubble baths with candles, nobody would bang on my door and even better nobody would come inside to play peekaboo … nobody was there to disturb my privacy just two years back.

I would watch TV peacefully, nobody would scream at me to put on Wa wa wubzy or Yo gabba gabba … just two years back.

I would never worry about candles, sharp corners … knifes or things like that … I would put the things wherever I wanted and wherever they looked elegant … my house was never a safety castle just two years back.

Just two years back I never knew how the lil hugs from two tiny lil hands felt like … I never knew how hard my heart can ache on a lil cry from my lil one.

I never knew I had so many tears in my tear ducts just two years back.

I never knew how hard it is to calm a crying baby in airplanes and in movie theatres.

I never knew I can make up so many interesting bed time stories and I even hold the ability to convert munni’s and sheelas to lullabies.

I never knew that someone can actually eat mashed banana with milk.

I never knew that it was monsters who knocked the door when we took our dinner … I never knew I can hide inside the closet … I never knew of anyone in the world who can have so much fun with the jhaadu or things like that.

I never knew what a growth chart meant and I never understood the pain of a Mom whose kid lies in the lowest 5th percentile.

I never knew its not just movie and Ra that can keep me awake whole night … I can even stay awake just watching and kissing and praying for my Aarny sleeping peacefully.

I never knew I can fight with my best friend if her kid misbehaved with mine. I never knew I hold the spirits similar to Rani Lakshmibai if someone dared to hurt my Aarny.

I never knew ambulances and fire trucks are so much fun!

I never knew how hard it is to learn ABCD … and how hard it is to hold a pea between fingers … I never knew how satisfying it is to be able to switch on off the lamps.

I never knew there exists a million ways to make my lil one laugh aloud … I never knew if someone can laugh when I just scream a ooo or aaaa or baaa or … I said it already I know a million ways believe it or not. But still I never knew sometimes it is just impossible to sooth my crying baby … and I never knew that those are the moments when I would ask Bhagwaan jee to take my life but to spare my Aarny from each and every pain in his life.

Just two years back I never knew what potty really smelt like … I never knew if someone is actually capable of having a potty with the green peas that looked exactly like it was before when that someone ate it.

I never knew that feeding my Aarny would be a much much bigger challenge than meeting the deadlines in my project.

I never knew I would stop thinking about the cost when it is for Aarny.

I never knew I would love someone like this … I never knew I would love being loved like this before … so selfishly … like love mom when she is dressing to go out … hate mom when its time for dinner … love mom when its time to sleep … hate mom when its time to go back home from playground … love mom when Babi screams … hate mom when mommy screams.

I never knew I would mean so much to someone … I never knew I would be so desired. I never knew someone would become so essential … I never knew what my Mom went through raising me … I never knew my life would change like this … I never knew I can be so much responsible … I never respected myself so much … I never felt so proud of myself … my life was never so beautiful before.

I was not a Mom just two years back.

Monday, May 3, 2010

A close-miss!

A warm sunny Saturday afternoon, friends’, family, me, Ra and my little Aarny too on Times Square and a live car bomb … We all but the bomb got lucky on Time Square last Saturday, May 1st.

Yeah they detected a car bomb, which they are calling amateurish but still it was a planted planned bomb explosive and it did threatened me and a lot others for sure. Investigation is on its full swing and we will get to know more about it very soon, but it was close … yeah it was this close. I wonder … about myself … me my family my Aarny we could have been … lets not say it … umhu nope not at all … Mom says that Saraswati Bhagwaan sits on everybody’s tongue once in a day and so we are not supposed to say anything bad, who knows she might come and sit on my keyboard too, it’s a techno era after all these days.

But it was a close-miss. Thank God for protecting each and every one of us that day at Times Square and NY bomb squad, NYPD … God bless!

Apart from this, life s on a rock n roll … with Aarny, with job and with the “in-laws”. Aarny has become expressive these days, he plays hide n seek with Maa, yeah that’s me btw, waves bye bye to my brother when I make him sleep, that’s his Chanda Mama btw and cries when I go to office that’s from where I am writing this post btw.

I am reading John Banville, the Sea. Going really slow for two reasons, reason # 1, playing with Aarny on the bed is much more fun than delving in to the Sea, sorry John. And reason # 2, I have to go really slow, the language and the book is not that straight, I have to read it like really slow to understand it, John sorry again, but I need to complete few more pages to start appreciating it.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Cry baby cry !

Vidaai, if you are not from India let me explain, Vidaai is the post marriage ceremony when the bride's family and friends bid her a teary farewell, and I mean a really teary farewell.

I am from a family where girls cry it out so hard that they even faint … I am not sure if they plan it that way to get an excuse to fall on their newly wed hubbys’ arms or they actually plan to stay back some more at Mom’s but whatever it is I have seen girls fainting on this Vidaai ceremony. And being one ladalee badi beti from this family my relatives had a lot of expectations from my Vidaai, it was supposed to be one grand Vidaai where everybody was supposed to cry … guess everybody except me!

I and my tear ducts, we have some kind of differences, my tear ducts never ever open up when me or somebody else expects to see it opening, my tear duct follows its own secretive rules which nobody but God or my tear duct only knows. It is not controlled by my brains or my heart … I swear, that’s the only organ of my body which is so truly autonomous. People around me cry buckets and my tear ducts declares a draught, I have that kind of non submissive tear ducts.

During my Vidaai I just kept the veil very low so that people around me assumed that I am crying inside and they accompanied me in that difficult situation. Everybody said nice things to me and everybody consoled me saying that it’s gonna be the same or may be even better and I need not worry, I just listened to them quietly with a wicked grin inside and pretended to dry my already dried out eyes with the tissues that my sis gave me, I was actually about to shed a drop of tear when my Mom came in to the scene from somewhere saying no cries, you will drop off your lenses, I don’t know how she kept following my eyes even from inside my veil, but she was there right when required … Mom … awww Mom I miss you. Mom was crying too and seeing her and listening to her only advice of taking care of my lenses made me cry a little and laugh some more … my sisters … stupid real sisters were both giggling, so even they did not helped me in my “shed some tear project”. And the car started rolling … I prayed thank God, thanks for protecting me from this embarrassment.

I know all the girls out there are condemning me, but what can I do, I am just narrating you the things right from my heart, you can not hate me for not crying, but if you do already here’s one more reason to hate me more, me and my friend S would laugh uncontrollably on mourning ceremonies of our school assembly, I do not know what made us laugh but we did, it was nothing related to the mourning ceremony and we truly sympathized and ask for forgiveness for this evil deed, but we could not control our laughs, I confess.

So back to my Vidaai ceremony, it was almost ending, the car started rolling and I felt as if I am missing something, what I did not know, so in the state of some kind of confusion we reached almost up to the gate of our marriage hall, and there I saw Papa standing alone and waving me a good bye with a smile on his face, I couldn’t see his eyes but I knew they were wet, and this time I needed no tantrums, my tear ducts opened up generously … and I saw my sisters from the rear view mirror, I knew they too were crying, though hiding from each other but they both were crying, I knew and I cried more … I cried … I did … but my only complain is NOBODY SAW ME CRYING, EXCEPT RA, WHO WAS NOT AT ALL SUPPOSED TO SEE ME CRY!

So this is how it is, why I remembered this episode is because my in-laws would be leaving soon and even they would expect me to cry when they leave and my tear ducts would again ditch me I know … can I just take a print out of this post and give them to read while bidding them adieu … may be they would forgive their no heart bahu!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Taanki !

Sometime in Nov, 2006, day when the brand new driver of our brand new Toyota Corolla needed to refuel the car for the very first time. We both were absolutely new to the US roads and at the same time utterly panicky, somehow we managed to find a small, barely busy gas station, no actually not a gas station, it used to be a Patrol pump at that time for us.

We took the car inside, luckily an old Sardar jee was working there at that night, and we felt little comfortable seeing a desi face at the patrol pump.

We asked him to fill the tank, but he smiled back and said something which sounded like Taanki, we both did not understand and we smiled back saying what, he was now little irritated he said again “Sir Taanki”, and the clever couple understood him this time, but we did not understood why he is saying Taanki.

Ra murmured to me saying that Sardar ji’s patrol pump is probably empty and he is waiting for some Patrol tank to fill the gas station, we asked him ok when is the Taanki coming?

And this time he literally shouted on us in hindi “Sirji, patrol tanki doosari taraf hai, gaddi ghuma ke laiye”.

And this is how we got patrol in our car for the first time in this country, and this was the level of our intelligence when we arrived here … are we a level up now, Ra what do you think?

Bangaloe Bangalore !

Holi kab hai, kab hai holi? Anda banayi khayi aur aayi … paichaan kaun? Bhaktjano … bhavnaao ko samajho! Ratan Noora, Gajodhar Bhaiyya and our LG TV at Bangalore!

Bird watching at the Forum … aloo parathe at that Rajasthani bhaiyya’s corner side shop and those were our gushy mushy evenings at Bangalore!

Days of extravagant MNC’s and Nights of Sukh Sagar, China Pearl, Chandani Chowk and those were our good ol days at Bangalore!

Bangalore Bangalore … Oh I missed Bangalore and a lot more when I watched Raju Shrivastava last weekend!

Monday, April 12, 2010

Goals after becoming gol gol ...

its vanished … yeah the Goals … goals in double quotes (imagine me doing the double quote thingy sarcastically)… my once upon a time high aimed goals … career, personal … physical and all types goals have gone astray after I became a golu molu Mom !

All I aim for these days are to bring my lil Aarny on solid foods after his stage 2 food, to see him achieve the next milestone (which currently is to see him standing by his own) and I aim for my work to get over so that I can run … play some peekaboo with my lil Aarny ! I aim to pick right toys in affordable rates … and I aim for … you already got the idea didn’t you!

Actually one mishtake … I still have one individual goal glued to me tightly and I think it will be with me till eternity … that one is unloading the sack of my tummy. Wao how interesting!

So it was yesterday night, sleep time for us and for my lil monster, the most active play time, it was then when Ra standing in front of our Goals chart (that we made some decades ago), started asking me about my Goals and I would have shot him on his head … had I owned a gun that time … I was just this … this much close. But no worries I killed him with my words that night. He wouldn’t even dare to say the word Goal in front his gol gol wifey I swear!

So the above explanation goes for my exile from this blog post (as if I have got any other reader apart from myself duh), this was one of my Goals to write something at least once a week when I created this blog, and then eventually it became once a month and then it just became whenever you get some time start typing … so I want to go back to once a month stage, let s see if I can make it … and then in future if I can make it to the Bookers :).

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Eloquences of a NRI daughter ...

Papa you know my colleague Denis got a brand new shimmering red BMW Series 3 equipped bountifully with ten speakers, ABS ... and I got a opportunity to relish the extraveganza of his ultra luxury car this afternoon on the streets of Manhattan, New York, lucky me! My lunch time was almost entirely devoured by overjoyed Denis and the endless descriptions of the never-ending features of his BMW Series three ... ohh how jealous I felt of that guy and his BeeeeEmmmDoubluee.

But as he went on and on, surprisingly this green-eyed monster within me went down and down ... down the memory lanes of our first car, our first "second hand" Green colored Maruti800, I do not remember the numbers of my own Corolla which I drive daily here but I do remember the numbers of our Maruti800 which you never allowed me to drive. I know I too will be driving some BMW series three four or whatever someday, but this complain of not being allowed to drive your Maruti800 will always be rooted deep in my heart. Such was the ecstasy of that Maruti800 unparalleled with Denis's ruby red opulence.


Smell of our Maruti800, still so fresh somewhere within me, no other car freshener can discover the same aroma of fragrance, I bet ya! The car had no air conditioner and we drove it in the temperatures above a hundred degrees in the blisteringly hot summers of India, it had no music system, no seat covers even, it was a bare car, which could offer the only luxury of travelling little more comfortably with all the five members of our family togather. And still it was the best car I ever rode ... I couldn't stop myself from telling this to Denis.

  • We get saturdays and Sundays and almost a half of Friday but this all seems less fun than one single sunday of yours Papa.
  • I have witnessed five farewell parties but none of them were as grand as one and only farewell party of yours.
  • All my companies were fortune500 (a big deal that I will always be proud of) but I never could build the same repo and same relation as you had in your small Aluminium Plant.
  • I get a fat pay stub but I never get those sweat smells from my shirts that you always had in all the seasons after your office hours, will my kids ever believe that I had a real hectic day at office?
  • I am exposed to a much larger world than yours but still I have less number of real friends.

How uncool is that Papa?

Yeah it was a bare car Papa but the FOTM is it was the best one I ever had. Me and Deniss' and lot of others like us strive here and there back in India to afford these luxuries but we often forget that the best ones were the ones that we already left behind. Big things comes in small packages, how true is that. I came to New York with some of the very demanding career and personal goals, to grow a level up from what I was before, but these levels are never ending, I achieve one goal and from the next day itself I start starving for another one, this race has no finish point and this race has no winners.

And I still keep wondering that why simplest of the things gives biggest pleasures. And still why we run after the big and more biggger pleasures leaving behind the simple and the simplest ones.

History repeats ...

Papa is using internet since last couple of months and he repeated lot of customer care jokes, and I would like to pen down one here …

Me: Papa, open your yahoo messenger.
Papa: Where is it?
Me: well... it should be on the bottom right corner of your monitor.
Papa (after 5 minutes or so): No I can’t get it.
Me: okay let’s try to find it on your desktop.
Papa: I only have lots of fishes swimming on my desktop, I still can’t see yahoo messenger.
Me: fishes … (grrrr) you have a screen saver on. Papa, move your mouse a little and then try to find yahoo messenger on either bottom left corner or on your desktop …
Papa (gets his desktop hidden behind those cute fishes that my Mom likes so much): ok still I can’t see your yahoo messenger.
Me: ok Papa, what all you see in your bottom left corner ( I thought this will be faster than identifying all the icons on the desktop)
Papa (goes like this): 10:30AM, E, W … blah blah and finally one Yellow laughing face with white teethes.
Aru: ok gotchcha …that one yeah Papa that yellow laughing face, that is the one we morons call Yahoo Messanger.

That yellow laughing face… hold it tight …yeah scold that tight … as you used to scold us few decades back, during our homework sessions … Do you also hate my internet classes as much as I hated your spelling and math classes?

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Mom's Herbal Laddu (Jachki Laddu)


My blog site is not a cooking BlogSpot … but I couldn’t resist penning down this recipe … or medicine … or is it a sweet dish … ummn okay let’s call it my Mom’s Herbal Laddu!

The reason why I want to keep this recipe alive is not because it is very tasty or easy to make … in contrary this Herbal Laddu is actually not very good in taste and the procedure is very lengthy and intricate. But the reason is … First … I didn’t get this recipe anywhere on net and second this Herbal Laddu is a Laddu made especially for women’s postpartum period … this helps new Mom’s to regain the lost strength and helps her to rule the family once again … to get her back to her usual roaring spirit once again … yeah gals my Mom’s Herbal Laddu is that powerful!

I am sure Laddu would magnetize many sweet tooths like Ra’s … he couldn’t kept himself away from these Herbal Laddu’s despite of my Mom’s warnings … but trust me he never tried a second one after having that first .. so watch ya mouth guys !

Okay so without much ado (yup I watched entertainment ke liye’s first season with some interest) here goes the recipe …

Ingredients:

  1. 250g Khadi Methi (Fenugreek seeds )
  2. 250g Sonth (Dry Ginger)
  3. 250g Aami Haldi (Mango turmeric)
  4. 250g Mota Peepara
  5. 100g Patala Peepara
  6. 100g Jadi Peepara
  7. 50g Mool Peepara
  8. 100g Aswagandha
  9. 200g Satawar
  10. 250g khane ka Gond
  11. 50g Kamarkas
  12. 250g Ajwain
  13. 250g Karayat
  14. 0.5kg Makhana (Kamalgatta)
  15. 1.5kg Khaskhas (Opium seeds)
  16. 250g Mota Haldi
  17. 4kg Grinded Gud
  18. 0.5kg Chuhara (dry Date Palm)
  19. 2kg Badam
  20. 2kg kishmish (dry Grapes)
  21. 250g Pista
  22. 0.5kg Chironjee
  23. 4kg Cow's shudhdh Ghee (if possible made at home)

Procedure:


  1. Clean all the herbs in water and sundry it ... this may take 2-3 days, depending on amount of sunlight you are getting.
  2. Fry Ajwain and khaskhas in a pan.
  3. Deep fry Makhana in hot Ghee and keep it separately.
  4. Deep Fry all the herbs (except Kishmish) one by one separately in hot Ghee.
  5. Let all the fried herbs cool down then grind them separately one by one in your grinder or mixer, traditionally all the herbs are manually grinded using stone (Seel Batta).
  6. Cut Chuhara into small pieces.
  7. Now mix all the ginded herbs, fried Makhana and cut Chuhara in a big pan.
  8. After mixing well, put grinded Gud and Kishmish in between this mix and pour hot Ghee on the Gud and kishmish.
  9. Once Gud starts melting, mix eveything using big spoons (remember ghee you poured is very hot ... so do not use hands)

Now make gol gol Laddu's with this mix.

I have been eating these Laddu's since last two months ... two to three per day depending on my Moms memory ... and thank God ... Mummy told me yesterday only that she has just one more month of Laddu stock left in her big box.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

My bamboo shoot ... my shooting star ...

One day she decided to quit ... quit her job, her relationship, her spirituality... she wanted to quit her life.

She went to the woods to have one last talk with God.


"God", she said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised her...
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", she replied.
When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light. I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.
"In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. "I would not quit." He said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.
Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant... But just six months later the bamboo rose to over a hundred feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots.

Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."

He said to her. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots."

"I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you". Don't compare yourself to others" He said "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern ... Yet… they both make the forest beautiful."

“Your time will come” God said to her “You will rise high!”

“How high should I rise?" She asked.

“How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.

"As high as it can?” She questioned.

“Yes.” He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can.”

She left the forest and brought back this story to me … and I was so proud of her the moment I read her story … I knew she has it in her … She is my bamboo shoot … She is my only shooting star carrying unfulfilled wishes of her own; she has come so far … she can’t go back where she used to be ... but still a whole new World! Yes a whole new world is waiting for her!

You will rise as high as you want... and will bring glory to God and to all of us … God will never give up on you … my lil princess!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

A spiritual twist ...

Sri Ram chandra kripalu bhaj man haran bhav bhay darunam
Nav kanj lochan kanj mukh kar kanj pad kanjarunam ... sri ...

One more ... Thumak chalat Ram chandra bajat paijaniya ... thumak chalat ram chandra ... and I do see thumak thumak of a cutie pie Ram like kiddo …

And one more ... maiyya mori mai nah makhan khayo ... I do visualize a four year old mischievous Kanhaiyya

And actually lot mores to go ... I have no idea when and how I started listening to these bhajans … no clue since when Anoop Jalota became so melodious but these feels so soothing and so pleasing, I keep humming them all the time. Now a days I do not try to learn the lyrics of Susan Boyle les miserables I dreamed a dream ... but I do spend a considerable time looking for the lyrics and meaning of Sri Ram chandra kripalu bhaj man ... kind bhajans ... ohh someone there in India must be smiling at me, someone who so much wanted her daughter to learn the lyrics of these bhajans till the time I was in control of her ... time changes, mind purifies!

And apart from that I am reading Sea of Poppies, its gripping, but the language ... not his english but the lascar language that he has used is very difficult to understand. It’s a mix of English Hindi and some other out of world language, but I am not able to fully understand it as if now … till the completion of my first chapter. I wish somebody could provide me the dictionary of this language … anyways google zindabad, I am sure it’s not me alone with this complain. Deeti’s part is mysterious and very pleasing to read, the details of her and her daughter’s daily household chores, eating roti’s with aloo poshto and all makes me feel nostalgic.

Baby kicks now a days, I feel tired and sleepy all the time, not sure whether I am pretending to get an excuse for my laziness or I really am tired.

Friday, April 10, 2009

My lil chidiya ...

His parents call him Noddy, on the name of that little wooden toy character who lives in Toytown and who nods his head in exchange of some chocolates. But the actual story behind his name goes like this ... When this little chidiya was very small and didn't had any good neck support, his head used to nod and when one three year old neighbour girl noticed that she said that he nods like Noddy and since than he became Noddy for everybody except me.

To me he is still a chidiya, because when I took this two days old small thing in my lap, he opened half of his eyes lazily and started opening and closing his small mouth like a small bird's beak. All the times when he is not sleeping and not crying he used to repeat the same show and since than he is a chidiya to me.

This classic pic was taken during my last visit to India, when his smart Mom forgot to pick the small suitcase of my small chidiya from her in-laws place. She was in such hurry to meet her sis or to bid adieu to the streets of her in laws home ... wink wink ! So since chidiya had not even a single kachcha of his own that night, he had to manage with the borrowed clothes of creatures double or tripple of his size and age. Not that he cared even a bit but we all did, for the sake of protecting him from mosquitos and winter and also for making a good memory to laugh about and to write about ... sometimes in future.

This kid for some reason is obsessed with the trains since he arrived his Nana's home for the first time, nobody in the home will notice the horn of distant arriving train, but he will and he will do that each and every single time. When he couldn't speak, his eyes would speak in response of the train's horn, and somebody will have to take him out to show the train every time. I can't tell you how satisfied he would feel to see the train ... I mean some kind of eternal pleasure will brighten his eyes. The kind of serene tranquility you would see in some great monk ... same kind I see in this kids eye when he watches this black and brown monsterous machine. The blue and maroon sweater that he is wearing is a historical one too ... its his Mom's childhood favourite sweater. The socks are probably mine, the T-shirt that he is wearing inside is his Nana's ... and the designer of this complete dress is his dearest Nani. The added accessory ... the Lantern that my chidiya is holding was given to him as a bribe on some occasion I do not remember. The day he got this, none of trains crossed from our neighbourhood without getting a green signal from his pink and white toy Lantern. he waved his lantern dutifully to each and every train until he slept and not to forget, as a responsible official he did assigned his shift to his subordinate Maashi before sleeping.



One more classic one ... this ones my favourite too ... nothing much about this snap but he looks adorable, isn't he, He never asks for any expensive toys ... he creates his own toys, it can be anything beyond your imagination. One day he played with all the tomatoes of the house, put the marks of his small teeth in each and every tomato available in the house. One another fine day he played with this blue cap round dabba, I have no idea what qualifies these weired things to become his favourite of the day ... but he does enjoy himself up to the brim with these small things which we never even take notice of. I wish everybody in the world were this easy to please !

I also wish to show my chidiya this blog with these snaps someday to tell him how much fun we had with him ... and how much we loved this first Diwan kiddo of his generation.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

My lil bundle of joy !

I came here and noticed I had not written anything since last four months in this blog, but not like I am not writting at all ... I do write ... and Iiiiiiiiiii ... I write for the little bundle of joy that I am carrying inside yeeeei I am carrying a five month baby yuhu clap clap! And I was involved writting for him only since last few months. Talks between me and him, secrets between me and him and a fine tuning between me and him ... I am trying to feel how is it to be a Mom ! But geeeeek its real odd, will he mind calling me by name?


But otherwise the journey till now has gone pretty smooth, I never felt a thing for a single moment, no cravings, no vommitings, no morning, evening sicknesses and no pains. My lil pumpkin has been really good to me till now.


Wish me and my chubby cheek luck !!!

The New Den ...

I was used to getting up with the noice of birds chirping outside my bedroom window, my living room window very often was lined up with white and blue pegions, my bedroom, kitchen and bathroom used to be lighted with sunlight till afternoon and boy my bedroom very often was lighted with moonlight too ... and this was all in my previous apartment.

My new apartment's bedroom is right above a traffic signal, I wake up with the noise of cars and ambulance sirens, sulight falls only in my bedroom that too as if its doing a favor on me. And moonlight ... just forget about it, I can't even see the sky from my bedroom window since its all covered with the surrounding skyscrappers. No garden in front of the windows and no kids to shout for Rajib Uncle and Rajib Aunty.

Only comfort that we have is, we are saving our commute time, earlier we used to be inside the car for full three hours, but we ignored the positives that we were getting from these three hours commute. We were spending quality three hours togather everyday. There was no TV, no laptop to disturb us, me and Ra and nobody else, we had nothing else to do except talk to each other or resolve our previous fights or if nothing else than get involved in a new fight, and man why the heck I let this luxury taken away from me so easily.

Oh I am badly missing my old apartment, and my good old Parkway and everything else that I used to complain about earlier !

My old home .. sweet home ...




The New Den .. (dont go on the interiors ... sab chalawa hai ...)

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

America sings : Yes, we can !

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you, we as a people will get there.
Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!
There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can't solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And, above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it's been done in America for 221 years _ block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand. What began 21 months ago in the depths of winter cannot end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It can't happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice.
So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other.
This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight's about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing: Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old. She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons _ because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin. And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America _ the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can. At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can. When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs, a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.
Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!
When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.
Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!
She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that We Shall Overcome. Yes we can.
Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!
A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes we can.
Yes we can! Yes we can! Yes we can!
America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves _ if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made? This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:
Yes, we can.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Shubh Deepawali !

Oh ya I celebrated Deepawali here too, except that I couldnt fire crackers since for that I will need permissions from security deptt and except that I couldn't put my diya's outside the windows since the houses here are made up of woods and a single diya may alert the whole fire deptt of NJ and except that I couldn't put Rangoli since my whole house is covered with damn carpet and except that I couldnt eat much sweets since my cholestrol levels don't allow me to do such sin and yeah except that the tuni lights which saved my and my Deepawali's izzat was misunderstood as halloween decoration by my American neighbours ... except all of these my Deepawali went really magnificent. I had a small Lakshmi puja, good indian food with our friends here and with our all time favourite Sholay, arey O Sambha kitane aadami the re?


This was my Deepawali here which I do not want to exaggerate any more so allow me to once again bring you the story of three little sisters in gulabi winters and their much awaited festival of lights and patakha fights ... you gaat it wright ... its Deeeepawali back in India, in my BALCO, inside our quarter no 42, type IV, Sector 1, BALCO Nagar KORBA, 495684 !

Winter is knocking on the door and Papa has already started looking for his Deepawali card designs, his treasured drawing book has came out of the shelfs and all of us are giving our weird creative ideas and a design will be finalized soon and will be sent for printing. And with the aromas of gujhiya and coconut milkmaid laddu's we will fill colors in the hundreds of cards. I remember there came a time when we kind of felt bored to fill these cards ... and now don't even ask me how much I miss all that, Papa has sent me his cards this time also and my emotions are breaking all the boundaries every time I see the cards. I have kept the cards on my desk Papa and they are being appreciated by every one, I am so proud and I am so sad, I want to fill those wax colors in the cards with Niru and Gudiya just one more time. Just five of us and nobody else inside our quarter no 42, type IV, Sector 1, BALCO Nagar KORBA, 495684!!


Guds would start her Deepawali after everybody else's finishes, she would generously exchange her rockets and anaars for one box of color matchstick or her favourite saap goli and she would be incharge of making garlands of red hibiscus flowers and filling every available cross words, my dal'g Guds, Niru would clean all puja idols with lemon and a hard hand, would draw the outlines of Rangoli and will eventually leave the color filling to us and she will be the one who would get maximum number of visitors this day, our powerful and very social Niru. I would avoid all hard work and would grab the tasks which will take less efforts and which would bring more credit, I actually can't remember what was my signature task in Deepawali, except that I will get very few visitors and my visitors will be hated by everybody at home, Mom would not give her best sweets to them unlike Niru's guest who will be welcomed so warmly, oh I hated that. Gujhiya and laddu and namkeen and puri and kheer and Lakshmi bomb, that was my Mom. Mummy will not fire any other crackers except Lakshmi Bomb, so Mum's signature her laksmi bomb and yeah how could I forget her one and only picture of Deepawali inside the kitchen with her brand new five diyas and pallu on her head, you know Mom I also posed the same this time, I don't know what prayers you said in front of those diyas, but I prayed for whatever you would pray. Do you still do that Mom? Can we do all of this once more, just five of us and nobody else inside our quarter no 42, type IV, Sector 1, BALCO Nagar KORBA, 495684!!!

Shubh Deepawali !!!!!