From Recession to Depression

Everything was well in control before I left for vacations to India last November. I left everything in good shape but gosh they couldnt take care of the things in my absence. If I knew this before, I wouldn't have gone for it I swear.

I came back in December and saw a line of worry on the foreheads of my friends, my collegues, my managers and my Employer. And the rumours were in air that a recession is comming. But I didnt believed it and I kept looking for a job after I recovered fully from my bone breaking injury. I had a broken collar bone, great deal of confdence and a genuine six years of experience and I thought I will break all the odds with a combination of these three.

But I did saw a slow down, I called it a mere slowdown since eventually I got into a job. My other friends who couldnt make it, called it a recession.

I got confirmed for Bear Stearns on Friday March 14th and BS started shaking after that, JPMC offered $2 per shares to this big giant on Monday March 17th when I was supposed to join BS, damn it ! I said No to this Two dollar company, you dont buy it okay so lets be honest I got a offer cancellation on Monday.

After few more ups and down I finally got settled in a Health care company.

Sitting quietly and safely here I saw Fennie Freddie comming down and gas prices going up. Last weekend when I waS watching Hurricane Ike blowing everything in Heuston, this wall street shakes rocked the news channels. I speculated that same bailout will come from Fed and this two hundred years old company will be saved on the shoulders of Tax Payers. But nothing like that happened, Barclays and BOA raised hands and this one finally filed bankruptcy today. BOA is buying Meryll Lynch. AIG and Washington Mutual are the next ones wating silently for their fate.

So see this is what it happens when I leave the country on its own for a few weeks, from slow down to recession it finally falls nose down towards DEPRESSION.

Famous Fives

Me, N, S, V .. all are tittle-tattling about all possible topics in the world ranging from Babri Masjeed demolition by BJP to Biology class test next day, arguing over last night's performance of Romário in FIFA, scrutinizing A's knee length short skirts, spreading rumours about our tall handsome D Sir and newly joined P Madam, giving expert reviews of Sundays Agatha Christie episode and critising Rupa Ganguli for her overacting in Mahabharata ... and we all are walking towards the assembly hall agreeing on one thing unarguably that Amir is our dream boy and there s nothing as sensational as seeing him singing Papa Kahate hai ... we all are head deep in love with him.

Juhi is our common target and we all are irritated by her hum hum. We hate her indisputably.

And yeah we all are waiting for D to join us, who is as usual late for the assembly prayer since she comes from Sector Two in her red hero cycle.

We all have different tactics for remembering the periodic table but none of us can balance the chemical formulas with the confidence that P possesses. We all love making fun of her.

Two of us are good in Maths and other three are concentrating on Physics, nobody wants to take the responsibility of Chemistry. We are the best volleyball girls of our school.

Teachers dont like us, girls dont even talk to us in open, they think that might affect their practical marks, boys feel ashamed of us, after our recent all time low performance in last chemistry test, none has hopes on our future.

We are proud B Section Girls of KV BALCO.

My Skydive!

It was my idea to take the stills while skydiving and Ra full heartedly discarded that saying what’s the need when we are taking the full videos and ultimately it’s these stills that are being admired the most among our friend circle and Ra is loving that damn thing so much that he has already ordered framed hardcopies of those stills. I hate him!

But I just loved the idea of freely falling under G-force at the speed of 120-140 miles per hour for about 60 to 80 seconds... tearing down the white cotton balls of clouds into several pieces and meanwhile getting captured inside the lenses of the video man like a big flying bird with all the wacky expressions of trying to smile hard concealing the words worst fears inside and throwing hundreds of flying kisses and doing cabbage dance in the air and clapping and doing a thumbs up … and than landing with a zoooop down the earth and saying dude I loved this … and these were all my ideas and I did not saw any Tom Dick Harry’s skydive before I thought bout em (imagine me with my infamous evil grin).

Humn and this is how it actually went … when we entered the skydiving zone half of my morale came down with the skydivers coming down but somehow I gathered the remaining half and I went up the airplane … and there every second I wanted to yell and ask the damn pilot about how high he want me to jump from, isn’t this ten feet high enough … now it’s a hundred feet … gosh guess its some thousand feet now … o boy I have now even stopped guessing. And here comes the biggest gugly, my photographer is telling me that his still photography camera is not working and so no stills for me. So he means I will do all this ultra hazardous stunt without being photographed, I will go through this entire trauma without being able to get those flying bird snaps which holds the capacity of gathering major appreciations for my valor? Are you kidding me buddy? Okay there s no time to argue about all that since my instructor is telling me that its time now and it’s a fifteen thousand feet above ground level and you have to jump without being photographed. f^&*(()^$* … And he took me near the airplane exit and my face turned white with real fear this time … I forgot all my steps of doing a thumbs up and throwing a flying kiss that I had planned to do before the actual dive, all I remember was Mummmyyyy save me, I don’t wanna jump, take me back I don’t wanna do this stunt, this is all I could think about on that exit door but my instructor turned out to be a deaf crazy monster, he lifted my chin up and yelled at me don’t look down and he literally pushed me down, ohh boy what is it some wild rotations and green land down and the video man on my side trying to hold my hands and one more whirl and down and down. I practiced my cabbage dance on my bed and I had planned to clap and do a yoo … but what is it why am I not even able to open my eyes haan … can somebody stop the spins please I am not a ball I am still alive save me while you still can and than again a zoooop and than up and up my parachute is open and the instructor says “you are now safe, girl! You did well, you can hold your breadth … you can open your eyes and enjoy the ride, there that side it’s Atlantic city, there its Cape May and that’s our Williamstown”.

He did few more twists and twirls, showed me few more views; and he regretted that he couldn’t keep me up in the air till sunset since my husband was waiting down for me to land safely.

And the best part is … when I landed, I remembered very well to pose for a thumbs up and to throw a flying kiss and to hug my instructor and I told my video man that I loved it, it was awesome and I will do it again (I have to, you know it right, I couldn’t get my still photographs this time … grrr).

And this is what was my idea and this is what Ra said he didn't needed and still he got it and this is the pose that I needed so desparately and I missed it this time buhuuuuuu

(But seriously guys, it was awesome and awesome means awesome no cliché this time, do it if ever you get a chance, it was worth every penny. )

Choti si kahani se, baarisho ke paani se ...

Its July 4th here in Jersey and its beautiful outside my window ... clouds have just halted after pouring and the leaves and the grass and everything else out there is like all fresh after a royal sprinkle ...

dhula dhula sa ...

khila khila sa ...

birds are chirping and its quiet a scene outside I tell you. While Ra is still sleeping and snoring strong ... I couldnt afford to miss this beautiful morning. And soon after getting up I found myself singing my heart out and quiet aloud ... without even a slightest concern for my neighbours or Ra's holiday sleep ...

aakhir tumhe aanaa hai ei eiiiiiii...

zaraa der lagegi

baarish kaa bahaanaa hai ei eiiiiii

zaraa der lagegi

Udit bhaiya ... you must be proud today haan?

Not like I dont know any other song okay buddy ... perfect for a morning this beautiful ... but this was the one which came instantly and there was no reason and no time to think for another one something like ...

lalaaaaa lalalalaaaaaaa
choti si kahani se

baarishon ke pani se

saari waadi bhar gayi
lalalala la la la
naa janee kyo

dil bhar gayaaaaa

na jaanee kyooooo

aankh bhar gayeee

par mazaak mazaak me aankhe sach me bhar gayi ... when I saw another window from this window of my apartment in Jersey ... that window is a window of house number 305, Sector One .. BALCO Nagar KORBA .. Pin Number 495 684 (Anybody wanna post a card there?) and there are these three pairs of small legs and hands hanging outside that window ... and there also it is pouring heavily ... but these three pairs are the ones who seem to enjoy the rain more than anybody else on the Earth ... Mom is yelling since the Sofa beneath this window is also playing in the rain with these three girls ... But neither the rains nor the sofa seem to care for Mom's squawking ... and the three girls ... ohh boy their pleasure know no limits today ... they are all busy in singing in the rythm of rains ... and they have no time to hear any other sound as useless as their Mom's. I cant hear which song they are singing ... but I bet that one is the most beautiful song !

Can somebody bring that song closer to me ...?

Its becomming misty ... I want to see those girls for some more time ... can somebody clear this fog please? I want to see what those girls are wearing ... I want to know why they seem to be the happiest girls of this planet? Are they waiting for 5 30 when their Papa will come back from office ... all soaked in water inside his khakhi raincoat and white helmet?

Or they waiting for their Mom's Pakora and adarak waali Chai?

Helllooo girls can you hear me ... what is it?

What day is it there? Can somebody return me that one small window and that one tiny moment please ...

lalalala la la la ... na jaane kyoooo ... aankh bhar gayeee !

Habit Two: Mission Statements … jeez … what for my life?

Mission Statement … care bout em? No seriously?

When I read about it in this book about Seven Habits of Highly Effective People By Stephen Covey, what came in my muddled mind … yeah mission statements of all the different organizations, which in my opinion are nothing more than advertising gimmicks and honestly speaking I don’t care much about them.

So what is such big a deal with these mission statements haan? Okay without dragging (Aru tum kab sudhrogi bhai?) let’s come to the point straight, this second habit says; Begin with the End in Mind. Ok now let’s go deeper … ever thought about your own Eulogy yes you read it right your own Eulogy that you would like to listen from your near and dear ones … while sitting cozy in heaven (lets be positive guys). I mean how would you like to be remembered? I am not trying to tell you to live such great a life so that they declare a public holiday all over nation on your Birthday … I am just talking about your priorities … very simple thing Mitra… how would you like to be remembered after your death … As a magnificent Mother, a wonderful wife or as a desirable daughter…As a endearing Entrepreneur, or a spirited Leader … As a Humanitarian, or a wealthy individual … or as a Mix of all of them together haan how bout that?

To Begin with the End in Mind is to Begin thinking what you want to be or to achieve by the end of your life, and start (as early as possible) with that as a reference.

Covey says … everything is created twice, once in somebody’s mind, mentally and than by somebody’s hand, tangibly. And he gives more weight to the first creation, most of the projects that fail … fail because of the blotch in First creation. Flaw in Second creation is always amendable.

We always do this first creation for almost everything other than our very own life! I and all of you out there must have gone through this very demanding Analysis and Design phases of different projects in our career … we understand the cruciality and criticality of these phases … we are all intelligent people.

But somehow I was missing these phases in this very personal project called life … I until now am busy doing developments in this project without any of my own blueprints without any of the Analysis estimates or design drafts… I am living like the second creation of circumstances; I am not living my life based on my own first creation. I am not my own Creator … I am just a creation of some unknown external conditions.

What I want at the End Of My Life! Where s the Mission Statement Of My Life? I am missing this … and this is … so very grave oooohhh!

And this, my dear friend is the Second Habit of some of the very effective people out there.

I am all motivated to write a Mission Statement for my Life and this wont be a usual two or a five year short term goal setter plan I promise. What about you?

You know whats the beauty of this book ... It takes you from a state of Dependence to Independence and eventually to Interdependence, the first three habits will lead you towards personal Victories … from dependence to independence and the remaining ones are supposed to bring interdependence … will lead us towards public victories, a win win for all at the end.

(See you don’t need to go through the whole book I am giving you a kunji to it.. remember those kunji’s during exam times? I will be back with Third Habit very soon … is it boring ... no tell me honestly? I know it is but still I want to share these so that you wont blame me in future ... ki kya sab akele hi seekh liya aur ban gayi one of the highly effective people)

The Class Of 2K

I was posting a new topic in one of the Discussion Boards and I saw another discussion going on… about the memories of the college and I went to a flash back instantly … where I was in a black Kurata …sleeves rolled up and both the hands inside the pockets … first day you know … you got to be identified by all means.

GEC looked gorgeous, Profs looked smart and the students looked terrific that day believe me! Seniors were busy in some exam and I had no idea what the things will look like once they are back … but lets keep this post clean by writing only the good memories and editing out the bad ones … yeah lets keep the good ones (this I learned from Ray Romano’s speech on Robert’s wedding … we keep the good ones).

Only four other girls and plenty of boys in The Class of 2K2 … Sooooo yup I did not had much competition … in fact it looked boring at a glance but than came this boy inside the circle of my vision with a pierced ear and a baali and yes he too had his hands in his pockets … I knew this ones gonna click because he also seemed to understand the need of a distinct identification and he was distinctly identified in that crowd just like me.

So after all that crap paperwork and other formalities … we finally were all out in the lobby to get our much awaited introductions … our Dad’s were busy finalizing the safest place for their daughters and we daughters were busy finalizing prospective grooms for our Dad’s in return.

For some reason the girls were not interacting too much … it was all very formal hum aap types and boys were not even saying a hello but for this behavior I knew the reason …yes the gigantic Dad’s standing behind their beautiful daughters.

Somebody’s Dad suggested to go for chai outside the college (we were ignorant of the fact that Tapari is exclusively Boys Only) so we all started marching towards that infamous Tapari for Chai Samosa and on the way somehow we managed to maintain a distance of few yards between fathers and daughters … and than boooom … came the boys gang leaded by my baali boy … with hands in his pockets and the first words that we heard from him was “Aap log itana isolated kyo hai” and this became our punch line “No Isolation only unison” and we have been maintaining this till now … yes I eventually married this baali one.

The girls who were confined in hum aaps
started sharing their crush stories and uncensored jokes
The boys who felt isolated
started sharing their ragging pains and ice creams
Seniors who loved tormenting and torturing
started sharing their knowledge and notes
Profs who talked this and that
Started missing classes and labs ...

And this is how The Class of 2K2 flourished and prospered in true essence and this is how I gained the knack of Blogging and Coding concomitantly … may not effectively though ... but who cares!

One Correction : I realized this mistake after posting the blog ... but dont want to edit the title ... it looks alluring I guess ... I was in The Class of 2002. :)

Namesake…

So last night me and Ra were fighting over the name of our kiddo … ok before you frown or twinkle your eyes in a pleasant surprise, le me clear the situation, we don’t have any kid and I am not even expecting, but this my friend is our favorite pass time you know. We enjoy giving the world’s strangest and stupid-est names to our kid. I know … God bless my poor kid.

Ra always forewarns me that his son’s name should be a very much manly sort of name ... okay before I delve deep inside this … here goes one more assumption … we both believe that we will have a baby boy … so Ra dreams this manly name and he has been thinking about it since he was … I don’t know … probably in his teens … some thirteen fourteen years old … and after all those years of deep thoughts ... he finalized these two names for his sons ... okay be ready for a blast … the names are SamudraGupt and ChandraGupt … and he meant it … I swear to God he meant it first time when he disclosed his idea weaved over a decade or so.

But after all these years of being with this smart @$$ … his son’s names have became little milder… but hey watch it …still he wont compromise for anything less than his very manly name concept haan !

When I have some serious fights with him … I scare him that I am gonna name his kid Jhandooram.

When I was kid … I wanted to name my kids ... Ada and Adams … Ada is the very first person who thought about computers … and Adams is just stylish … and it goes with Ada … impressive haan ... what say? I told you I am a smart girl.

Than … for sometime I had this Aarav and Aarohi in mind … I know, beautiful names.

So you might have guessed … provided you are as intelligent as me … that I want my kid’s names to start with A … and if possible … with a double A … so that the names are always on top … wherever they go. After holding a name that starts with A for all these years … I know all the benefits of A … Thanks Mom Papa … I love my name.

And I suggested the same to Ra … for this he had one instant intellegent solution … why not start the names with a numeric character … like 0ChitraGupt … or 1SamudraGupt … So now you must have understood … why my poor kid is so very scared to enter our world … but don’t worry my chweetie pie ... Mumma’s here … she will save you from all the evil ideas of your Baba … so please come aboard … we are waiting.

(FYI ... All the names mentioned here are copyrighted to me and Ra … if anybody steals these names than be prepared for the worst … ChtraGupt, Samudraupt included … and we hold a patent over that numeric character waala idea)