Habit Two: Mission Statements … jeez … what for my life?

Mission Statement … care bout em? No seriously?

When I read about it in this book about Seven Habits of Highly Effective People By Stephen Covey, what came in my muddled mind … yeah mission statements of all the different organizations, which in my opinion are nothing more than advertising gimmicks and honestly speaking I don’t care much about them.

So what is such big a deal with these mission statements haan? Okay without dragging (Aru tum kab sudhrogi bhai?) let’s come to the point straight, this second habit says; Begin with the End in Mind. Ok now let’s go deeper … ever thought about your own Eulogy yes you read it right your own Eulogy that you would like to listen from your near and dear ones … while sitting cozy in heaven (lets be positive guys). I mean how would you like to be remembered? I am not trying to tell you to live such great a life so that they declare a public holiday all over nation on your Birthday … I am just talking about your priorities … very simple thing Mitra… how would you like to be remembered after your death … As a magnificent Mother, a wonderful wife or as a desirable daughter…As a endearing Entrepreneur, or a spirited Leader … As a Humanitarian, or a wealthy individual … or as a Mix of all of them together haan how bout that?

To Begin with the End in Mind is to Begin thinking what you want to be or to achieve by the end of your life, and start (as early as possible) with that as a reference.

Covey says … everything is created twice, once in somebody’s mind, mentally and than by somebody’s hand, tangibly. And he gives more weight to the first creation, most of the projects that fail … fail because of the blotch in First creation. Flaw in Second creation is always amendable.

We always do this first creation for almost everything other than our very own life! I and all of you out there must have gone through this very demanding Analysis and Design phases of different projects in our career … we understand the cruciality and criticality of these phases … we are all intelligent people.

But somehow I was missing these phases in this very personal project called life … I until now am busy doing developments in this project without any of my own blueprints without any of the Analysis estimates or design drafts… I am living like the second creation of circumstances; I am not living my life based on my own first creation. I am not my own Creator … I am just a creation of some unknown external conditions.

What I want at the End Of My Life! Where s the Mission Statement Of My Life? I am missing this … and this is … so very grave oooohhh!

And this, my dear friend is the Second Habit of some of the very effective people out there.

I am all motivated to write a Mission Statement for my Life and this wont be a usual two or a five year short term goal setter plan I promise. What about you?

You know whats the beauty of this book ... It takes you from a state of Dependence to Independence and eventually to Interdependence, the first three habits will lead you towards personal Victories … from dependence to independence and the remaining ones are supposed to bring interdependence … will lead us towards public victories, a win win for all at the end.

(See you don’t need to go through the whole book I am giving you a kunji to it.. remember those kunji’s during exam times? I will be back with Third Habit very soon … is it boring ... no tell me honestly? I know it is but still I want to share these so that you wont blame me in future ... ki kya sab akele hi seekh liya aur ban gayi one of the highly effective people)

The Class Of 2K

I was posting a new topic in one of the Discussion Boards and I saw another discussion going on… about the memories of the college and I went to a flash back instantly … where I was in a black Kurata …sleeves rolled up and both the hands inside the pockets … first day you know … you got to be identified by all means.

GEC looked gorgeous, Profs looked smart and the students looked terrific that day believe me! Seniors were busy in some exam and I had no idea what the things will look like once they are back … but lets keep this post clean by writing only the good memories and editing out the bad ones … yeah lets keep the good ones (this I learned from Ray Romano’s speech on Robert’s wedding … we keep the good ones).

Only four other girls and plenty of boys in The Class of 2K2 … Sooooo yup I did not had much competition … in fact it looked boring at a glance but than came this boy inside the circle of my vision with a pierced ear and a baali and yes he too had his hands in his pockets … I knew this ones gonna click because he also seemed to understand the need of a distinct identification and he was distinctly identified in that crowd just like me.

So after all that crap paperwork and other formalities … we finally were all out in the lobby to get our much awaited introductions … our Dad’s were busy finalizing the safest place for their daughters and we daughters were busy finalizing prospective grooms for our Dad’s in return.

For some reason the girls were not interacting too much … it was all very formal hum aap types and boys were not even saying a hello but for this behavior I knew the reason …yes the gigantic Dad’s standing behind their beautiful daughters.

Somebody’s Dad suggested to go for chai outside the college (we were ignorant of the fact that Tapari is exclusively Boys Only) so we all started marching towards that infamous Tapari for Chai Samosa and on the way somehow we managed to maintain a distance of few yards between fathers and daughters … and than boooom … came the boys gang leaded by my baali boy … with hands in his pockets and the first words that we heard from him was “Aap log itana isolated kyo hai” and this became our punch line “No Isolation only unison” and we have been maintaining this till now … yes I eventually married this baali one.

The girls who were confined in hum aaps
started sharing their crush stories and uncensored jokes
The boys who felt isolated
started sharing their ragging pains and ice creams
Seniors who loved tormenting and torturing
started sharing their knowledge and notes
Profs who talked this and that
Started missing classes and labs ...

And this is how The Class of 2K2 flourished and prospered in true essence and this is how I gained the knack of Blogging and Coding concomitantly … may not effectively though ... but who cares!

One Correction : I realized this mistake after posting the blog ... but dont want to edit the title ... it looks alluring I guess ... I was in The Class of 2002. :)

Namesake…

So last night me and Ra were fighting over the name of our kiddo … ok before you frown or twinkle your eyes in a pleasant surprise, le me clear the situation, we don’t have any kid and I am not even expecting, but this my friend is our favorite pass time you know. We enjoy giving the world’s strangest and stupid-est names to our kid. I know … God bless my poor kid.

Ra always forewarns me that his son’s name should be a very much manly sort of name ... okay before I delve deep inside this … here goes one more assumption … we both believe that we will have a baby boy … so Ra dreams this manly name and he has been thinking about it since he was … I don’t know … probably in his teens … some thirteen fourteen years old … and after all those years of deep thoughts ... he finalized these two names for his sons ... okay be ready for a blast … the names are SamudraGupt and ChandraGupt … and he meant it … I swear to God he meant it first time when he disclosed his idea weaved over a decade or so.

But after all these years of being with this smart @$$ … his son’s names have became little milder… but hey watch it …still he wont compromise for anything less than his very manly name concept haan !

When I have some serious fights with him … I scare him that I am gonna name his kid Jhandooram.

When I was kid … I wanted to name my kids ... Ada and Adams … Ada is the very first person who thought about computers … and Adams is just stylish … and it goes with Ada … impressive haan ... what say? I told you I am a smart girl.

Than … for sometime I had this Aarav and Aarohi in mind … I know, beautiful names.

So you might have guessed … provided you are as intelligent as me … that I want my kid’s names to start with A … and if possible … with a double A … so that the names are always on top … wherever they go. After holding a name that starts with A for all these years … I know all the benefits of A … Thanks Mom Papa … I love my name.

And I suggested the same to Ra … for this he had one instant intellegent solution … why not start the names with a numeric character … like 0ChitraGupt … or 1SamudraGupt … So now you must have understood … why my poor kid is so very scared to enter our world … but don’t worry my chweetie pie ... Mumma’s here … she will save you from all the evil ideas of your Baba … so please come aboard … we are waiting.

(FYI ... All the names mentioned here are copyrighted to me and Ra … if anybody steals these names than be prepared for the worst … ChtraGupt, Samudraupt included … and we hold a patent over that numeric character waala idea)

First Habit of Highly Effective People: Being Proactive!

I am reading a book about seven habits of highly effective people ... I discuss the habits with Ra, with my friends and with my work colleagues ... I am not sure how many of them are thinking about practicing those habits but they do nod in appreciation and they do ponder about it ... at least for a moment ...well I guess so ... thought provoking I am sure it is! So here are some food for your thoughts too... my blog readers (let’s assume they do exist ... dil ke khush rakhane ko ... Ghalib ye khayaal ....)

Being Proactive as the title suggest is the very first habit! You must be thinking ... huh what with proactivity? being proactive in meetings? Being proactive in work? Being proactive in relations ... I am proactive everywhere... I will be dumped if I miss being proactive in any one of these areas!

But the fact is ... most of the times we are Reactive and not Proactive, for example …

Reactive to Kitchen weather (If only that flour were little smart ... if only it knew the magic of becoming Roti by its own ... we wouldn’t have slept hungry)
Reactive to Physical weathers (If only the mausam were good... I wouldn't have got my first ticket)
Reactive to Technical weathers (If only Bill Gates wouldn't have released that damn .Net 3.5 version ... I would have cleared the interview ... I am an expert up to 3.4999999999)
Reactive to Social weathers (If only Ra could have kept quiet ... I wouldn't have fought with him).
Reactive to National weathers (If only the gas were below 4 ... I would have driven to that donation camp instead of wasting my time in Narnia)
Reactive to International weather (If only China would have behaved properly ... I would have made friends with my colleague chaau maau)

So did you get the point ... my examples are stupid I know ... but the fact is ... most of the times we are reactive ... very rarely we want to take the responsibility on our head, because taking responsibility sometimes means agreeing on being irresponsible. If only I could understand that I am the one responsible for whatever I am going through ... If only I could understand that nobody can let me down, unless I wish to ... if only I could realize that nobody can take my self esteem unless I let it go ... life will be a lot easy and I will fly light like a bird on the top of the world guys!!!

Marriage for example of one of my very close friend is unfortunately on the brink of ... end! Husband blames wife... I wouldn’t have done this unless you did that ... wife gives explanation why she did that and they both think that their other half is the root of all the problems. My Guru Mantra says... if only they both could be proactive in loving each other rather than being reactive for what the other one is doing, if only one of them could understand the responsibility of self rather than making noise about other one's responsibility, if only one of them could think about what can be done from his side rather than concentrating on what the other one is doing ... they will be a hit like Lord Shiva and Parvati and their marriage will be saved! Okay who else needs marriage counseling?

But that’s not all ... their is a small twist in the above Gyaan ... lets think we became proactive ... now what next ... next is ... do not be on the extreme side being proactive ... okay I understand that their are a lot of things about which you are significantly concerned and you are trying to resolve these concerns very proactively ... but watch out ... inside that outer circle of concerns their is a inner circle of influence ... that means not all the concerns are completely in your hands... their are a few concerns for which you can do nothing ... they are just inside your circle of concern and not inside your circle of influence ... so if you will put all your energy on the outer circle of concern than your circle of influence will start shrinking ... but if you will put your entire energy on the inner circle of influence than your circle of influence will start expanding ... isn’t it beautiful? If you answered in negative than probably you didn’t understand my point ...read the para again and concentrate properly this time.

So the bottom line is ... Be proactive and take the full responsibility of all the concerns that are inside the circle of your influence ... and this my dear friend is the very first Habit of highly effective people !!!

(Will See Ya Next Week ... With The Second Habit ... Be Online)

If she weren't there ...

A cool thing happened to me last week, worth penning down ... so here I go ... here I go again ... racing through my brain ... and I just can't contain ... this feeling that remains ... there she goes there she goes again ... I love this song !

So the story goes like this … one of my very first pahala pyaar moment was abbbboutttt humn … mmm ... okay le me count it down … in reverse chronicle order … 2002 was my final pahala pyaar ... which gave a period to all the roller coaster rides of my life … 2001 - 02 went dawdling … I was ravaging my precious time in career building (dawdling … ravaging … career building … oh boy am I a poet or what? ) okay so back to 98 – 2000 ahha that was indeed a hit … 97 again I wasted for what I did in 96 and 96 yes this is the year that I want to expose.

So I met this girl in 1996 … who claimed on what I thought was mine and I was so very enormously messed up by her loot. I damned that girl ferociously but I am really glad that she made it through all my juvenile curses and I also appreciate her dare to come and visit my profile in Orkut regardless of all that she did to me.

So this girl scrapped me … are you not angry with me?

And I realized that no ... I am not at all mad at her … in fact I wanted to thank her from the very deep bottom of my heart for all that she did to me because if she weren’t there at that moment of my life ... I probably wouldn’t be here at this moment of my life. If she weren’t happened to me I wouldn’t have taken serious things seriously and casual things casually … if she weren’t there … than probably I were there at her place … and I am scared to death to exchange our places ... not that I feel pity for her now but only because I am very gratified with what all I have today.

So... I replied her scrap … angry what for?? For saving me?

( And I told the whole story to Ra … he paused … took a deep breadth and said … "that girl should have asked me about this ... and I will tell her how mad I am on her ... if she weren’t there … you wouldn’t have entered in my damn life ... !!!" ... you didn't meant it ... right sweeeeety ... or did you ... grrr ...??? )

Desire ...

Desire, when it stems from the heart and spirit, when it is pure and intense, possesses awesome electromagnetic energy. This energy is released into the ether each night, as the mind falls into the sleep state. Each morning it returns to the conscious state reinforced with the cosmic currents. That which has been imaged will surely and certainly be manifested. You can rely, upon this ageless promise as surely as you can rely upon the eternally unbroken promise of sunrise and of Spring ... my lil angel !

Do not ask me

who said this to whom

but I truly believe in this

and I want you to believe in that too ...

my lil angel !!

Promise yourself, to never give up

to dream what you want to dream

to go where you want to go

to be what you want to be

Because you have only one life and

one chance to do all the things you want to do

my lil angel !!!

(courtsey : DhruvWorld)

Dulhe ka Mama ... his sole sovereignty!

I was excruciating myself hard yesterday night to dig out something sensible and/or simpler like education, location, occupation ... any damn "ion" of this guy and that is when I came up with this conclus"ion" ... Dulhe ka Mama ... yes that was this guys sole sovereignty.

(This actually is a big name to type down everytime ... so lets refer to him as DKM from hereafter.)

My first rendezvous with DKM happened when he was busy banging our crockery and cursing our caterer ... charisma of his discus throw was so alluring that I could not avoid my entry into the combat zone

Me : What is the problem.
DKM: Dishes are not clean.
Me: I personally don't find them dirty. But since you are saying so, we will change them, have some patience.
DKM: If you find them clean, you eat on it, I am not gonna eat. (one more bang, this time in front of me)

Needless to say I would have showered a hundreds of honeyed words on him, had he not been a Dulhe ka Mama ... damn it. In between all this tantrum of DKM, dazzle of our yellow saaris, and all that action on the floor ... aroma of our caterers food stood up as a clear winner. Yes, DKM was seen gulping a plate full of Pakodas and jalebis moments later, immidiately after the vows of not touching our food with his sacred hands.

Crockery was changed within hours but the pride of being a Dulhe ka Mama remained unshakable, after his discus throw this playful guy named DKM tried his hands on lot of other stuffs ... to mention some, DKM threw a bowl full of soup, DKM threw a glass full of badam milk, DKM yelled on our dhobi, DKM was drunk so badly that he misbahaved with one of our maid, DKM hit a poor begger kid with something hard in his hand during barat procession ... and the list went on till we bid adieu to Mr DKM.

And than there was one Dulhe ka Chaha, and with the name of him the color of my font changes automatically ... aaila magic ... and so was the change in mausam with him, who was not just another DKC, who had a nice real name, who was a research scholar in Reliance, who had his own integrity, who was a lot more than a dulhe ka chaha and the one who made his presence felt too in everybody's heart indisputably without doing any sort of discus throw, and there were a lot of other honorable mentions, some of them were Surgeons, some Railways officers, some Banking officers ... the ones we never heard yelling, the ones having individuality of there owns, the ones who preferred to be something more than Dulhe ka something.

We were not horrified by you Mr DKM, I am sorry to disappoint you, rather we sympathize with you, for we understand the fact that Dulhe ka Mama qualification was valid only for those five days and we do care for the rest of the days of your life Mr. DKM, the days when nobody will respect you for being just a Dulhe ka Mama ... yes we feel pity for you ... because we realise that Dulhe ka Mama once was Dulhe ka Sala too ... or how about giving a new title to Miss K Kapoor Kyoki .... Dulhe ka Mama bhi kabhi Dulhan ka baap hoga ... ?