First Habit of Highly Effective People: Being Proactive!

I am reading a book about seven habits of highly effective people ... I discuss the habits with Ra, with my friends and with my work colleagues ... I am not sure how many of them are thinking about practicing those habits but they do nod in appreciation and they do ponder about it ... at least for a moment ...well I guess so ... thought provoking I am sure it is! So here are some food for your thoughts too... my blog readers (let’s assume they do exist ... dil ke khush rakhane ko ... Ghalib ye khayaal ....)

Being Proactive as the title suggest is the very first habit! You must be thinking ... huh what with proactivity? being proactive in meetings? Being proactive in work? Being proactive in relations ... I am proactive everywhere... I will be dumped if I miss being proactive in any one of these areas!

But the fact is ... most of the times we are Reactive and not Proactive, for example …

Reactive to Kitchen weather (If only that flour were little smart ... if only it knew the magic of becoming Roti by its own ... we wouldn’t have slept hungry)
Reactive to Physical weathers (If only the mausam were good... I wouldn't have got my first ticket)
Reactive to Technical weathers (If only Bill Gates wouldn't have released that damn .Net 3.5 version ... I would have cleared the interview ... I am an expert up to 3.4999999999)
Reactive to Social weathers (If only Ra could have kept quiet ... I wouldn't have fought with him).
Reactive to National weathers (If only the gas were below 4 ... I would have driven to that donation camp instead of wasting my time in Narnia)
Reactive to International weather (If only China would have behaved properly ... I would have made friends with my colleague chaau maau)

So did you get the point ... my examples are stupid I know ... but the fact is ... most of the times we are reactive ... very rarely we want to take the responsibility on our head, because taking responsibility sometimes means agreeing on being irresponsible. If only I could understand that I am the one responsible for whatever I am going through ... If only I could understand that nobody can let me down, unless I wish to ... if only I could realize that nobody can take my self esteem unless I let it go ... life will be a lot easy and I will fly light like a bird on the top of the world guys!!!

Marriage for example of one of my very close friend is unfortunately on the brink of ... end! Husband blames wife... I wouldn’t have done this unless you did that ... wife gives explanation why she did that and they both think that their other half is the root of all the problems. My Guru Mantra says... if only they both could be proactive in loving each other rather than being reactive for what the other one is doing, if only one of them could understand the responsibility of self rather than making noise about other one's responsibility, if only one of them could think about what can be done from his side rather than concentrating on what the other one is doing ... they will be a hit like Lord Shiva and Parvati and their marriage will be saved! Okay who else needs marriage counseling?

But that’s not all ... their is a small twist in the above Gyaan ... lets think we became proactive ... now what next ... next is ... do not be on the extreme side being proactive ... okay I understand that their are a lot of things about which you are significantly concerned and you are trying to resolve these concerns very proactively ... but watch out ... inside that outer circle of concerns their is a inner circle of influence ... that means not all the concerns are completely in your hands... their are a few concerns for which you can do nothing ... they are just inside your circle of concern and not inside your circle of influence ... so if you will put all your energy on the outer circle of concern than your circle of influence will start shrinking ... but if you will put your entire energy on the inner circle of influence than your circle of influence will start expanding ... isn’t it beautiful? If you answered in negative than probably you didn’t understand my point ...read the para again and concentrate properly this time.

So the bottom line is ... Be proactive and take the full responsibility of all the concerns that are inside the circle of your influence ... and this my dear friend is the very first Habit of highly effective people !!!

(Will See Ya Next Week ... With The Second Habit ... Be Online)

If she weren't there ...

A cool thing happened to me last week, worth penning down ... so here I go ... here I go again ... racing through my brain ... and I just can't contain ... this feeling that remains ... there she goes there she goes again ... I love this song !

So the story goes like this … one of my very first pahala pyaar moment was abbbboutttt humn … mmm ... okay le me count it down … in reverse chronicle order … 2002 was my final pahala pyaar ... which gave a period to all the roller coaster rides of my life … 2001 - 02 went dawdling … I was ravaging my precious time in career building (dawdling … ravaging … career building … oh boy am I a poet or what? ) okay so back to 98 – 2000 ahha that was indeed a hit … 97 again I wasted for what I did in 96 and 96 yes this is the year that I want to expose.

So I met this girl in 1996 … who claimed on what I thought was mine and I was so very enormously messed up by her loot. I damned that girl ferociously but I am really glad that she made it through all my juvenile curses and I also appreciate her dare to come and visit my profile in Orkut regardless of all that she did to me.

So this girl scrapped me … are you not angry with me?

And I realized that no ... I am not at all mad at her … in fact I wanted to thank her from the very deep bottom of my heart for all that she did to me because if she weren’t there at that moment of my life ... I probably wouldn’t be here at this moment of my life. If she weren’t happened to me I wouldn’t have taken serious things seriously and casual things casually … if she weren’t there … than probably I were there at her place … and I am scared to death to exchange our places ... not that I feel pity for her now but only because I am very gratified with what all I have today.

So... I replied her scrap … angry what for?? For saving me?

( And I told the whole story to Ra … he paused … took a deep breadth and said … "that girl should have asked me about this ... and I will tell her how mad I am on her ... if she weren’t there … you wouldn’t have entered in my damn life ... !!!" ... you didn't meant it ... right sweeeeety ... or did you ... grrr ...??? )